lyra24 (lyra24) wrote,
lyra24
lyra24

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Snippet from the ward

Two nurses were discussing a patient on the ward today. The lady had a bite mark on her back, and one the nurses was explaining how this came about. It turned out the patient had bitten herself on the back, as it were.

Apparently the patient in question was dissatisfied with the time it took for a nurse to respond to her call, so she had taken her dentures, dropped them down the back of her shift, and leaned back in the chair, then pointed at the nurse and shouted: "THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT COMING TO ME FIRST!"

The mind boggles.

I then had another encounter with the gentleman that wanted to stab his son but loved the staff. He came up to me very eagerly and asked: "Do you have a slice of bread?" - this accompanied by him drawing a square in the air, in case I was in any doubt as to what shape of bread he required.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm just from pharmacy, I don't have any bread."
"I have only got salad in there (pointing towards his room), they not give me bread!"
"Sorry, I don't have any bread either, in fact I don't have any food on me, I'm just a pharmacist."
At this point he looked at me sadly before continuing:
"I don't have any bread, only salad! Can you give me a slice of bread?"
This continued back and forth for a while with me trying to get him to go into his room while I went to get a nurse for him, and he complaining that he couldn't go in there since there was only salad and NO BREAD (yes, I got that little nugget of information a while ago, thank you), until finally a nurse spotted us and took pity on me and the breadless gentleman.
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